Exciting times are upon us as we introduce The Author’s Literary Essentials (ALE), a publication designed to address building a digital footprint for the literary mind. It is a literary journey of discovery, our very own space to network, promote and appreciate literary work. It is dedicated to all the aspirational authors, bloggers and content creators out there.
Released three times a year, this publication is available online via our website both in print and digital formats offering new and seasoned writers an opportunity to express themselves creatively.
Over the years, we have discovered that cultivating a lifetime reading habit is not easy. Technological advancements have specifically been a stumbling block to this effect. It is therefore important to promote environments where reading is valued, promoted and actively encouraged as this goes a long way in reviving the reading culture.
In this Volume, we cover audiobooks, podcasts, blogs and writing tips. TAP into awesome conversations we’ve had with our spotlight features – Publisher & Author Daniella Blechner and Podcaster Tinto! We are proud to canvas international authors, bloggers, content creators and publishers – giving you exceptional literary content for your inspiration and enjoyment, as well as, writing and publishing tips. As if that wasn’t enough, this publication is teeming with expressive poetry and nostalgic short stories spilling into our podcasts and talk shows as we continue conversations to gain insight, to be inspired and to take away some wisdom nuggets!
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When I was growing up, I recall some very interesting corrective measures my mum used in those days. She could flog, beat, delay your meal or deny you some special offers given to other siblings just to drive home her message that you have committed a crime and ensure you remain on the right part of righteousness. My mum could even take you to church for deliverance with compulsory fasting, against your wish of course.
These were a few of the common means of correction practiced in the 80s by our mothers unlike these 21st century mothers who now claim that using cane on a child is child abuse.
Please I beg to differ.
My mum’s method, though I thought it was wickedness then, but now I appreciate the fact that she didn’t hesitate to correct us when necessary because I can boldly say that my siblings and I turned out right.
I personally do not agree that a child, especially an African child, should be allowed to grow without certain means of correction or proper discipline. Our skin is too tough to be pampered always. No, it’s not in our nature.
I believe that discipline is very important, as important as the air you breathe. Even God disciplines the one he loves.
If you dare try to give an African child a free hand, hmm, you are on your own. Whatever you see, please take it in good faith.
My point is this, there should be a balance, just like the Bible says in Ecclesiastics that there is time for everything.
With the evolution of digital natives, every parent should find a way to mix both methods of upbringing. I believe there should be time for cane and a time for oral correction or dialogue. Let me give you a practical example.
I was doing laundry one day and I helped my daughter wash her uniform after that I called her to get some hangers for them. She brought the hangers and asked, ‘Mummy where should I drop it?’ and I replied, ‘Drop it on my head!’
I’m sure those of you from my generation can relate with this.
In those days when your mum tells you to drop something on her head there are two options:
A. Drop it on her head and get the beating of your life since you’re a fool.
B. Receive instant wisdom and do what you are supposed to do correctly.
Most of us chose the latter. I haven’t met anyone who chose option A because I doubt if they lived to tell the story.
Anyway back to my story, immediately I told Presh (my daughter) to drop the hanger on my head, she just collected the clothes and started spreading them on the hanger sharpily.
Now my question is; what made her do the right thing? You see that our mother’s methods always come in handy.
My children are pure digital natives, true, there are times when I sit and discuss with them and we analyze their actions and its consequences like ndi ocha (the white people) but when oral correction or dialogue is not working, I bring out doctor do-good.
For us to raise a disciplined generation that will make us proud, corrective measures must be a mixture of the 80s and 21st century style.
Do you agree with me?
This article was written by Onyinye Udeh.
About the Author: Onyinye Udeh aka Tory Teller is a professional journalist, writer, blogger, Early Childhood educationist, and business consultant with well over a decade of experience in the media, telecommunications, insurance, education, and publishing. She runs a personal blog, Tory Teller’s Blog where she shares lessons from her life’s experiences with her readers and counsels them about life’s choices as regards relationships, dating, marriage, and parenting. She is passionate about young people and actively supports, inspires, and mentors them to be better members of the society. Married to her University sweetheart, for over 13 years, they are blessed with two children, a girl and a boy.
Firstly, before I start this post I would like to alert you that it is going to be centered on humor because over the years I have discovered that humor is one of my recipes and it helps me retain my sanity when things are getting out of hand. Secondly, I would love to make a disclaimer, do not believe that the person writing this is a professional parenting expert. As a matter of fact, a part of me is still arguing with the other part of me about what I’m going to be sharing with you. (There are actually 2 sides to my parenting. The one that scolds my kids when they stray and the one that sits on the floor with them to watch cartoons all day.)
Onyinye and her cuties
I have been a mother for over 12 years now and I will be very honest with you it has been a memorable, amazing, educative, insightful, and stressful experience for me. I would not deny the fact that I have been in positions where I did not know what to do, as in I was both helpless and hopeless about a particular issue because truth be told nobody gives you a proper orientation of what to expect. They just have expectations of you as a parent. Some of these expectations are unrealizable but then you get to realize after you are already stuck in the parenting triangle.
So when I had my first child I didn’t even know my left from my right, I struggled with understanding myself, and then there was a human being that I was supposed to take care of. I didn’t know exactly how to go about it but I think I had a little more advantage than some other people. After the delivery of my daughter, I was staying with my mum because my husband was out of town.
Literally, I started raising my daughter in my family house with my parents and my siblings so it wasn’t as challenging as it would have been for a young mother of my age to be alone with a child. I had the opportunity of being spoon-fed by my mother when I started my parenting. That was when she began to share ideas and tips of how to take care of a baby; when the baby needs to eat when the baby needs to sleep when the baby is uncomfortable either due to the weather or the clothing that the baby is putting on or something like that.
If not for the help I got from my mum I would have been marooned because I was oblivious of everything that had to do with raising a child. But as time went on I began to get a grip of things and grasp what I was expected to do as a mother. It helps that I had an open mind and because my daughter and I had spent some time with an extended family we didn’t have so much difficulty getting to understand ourselves. I have always wanted to raise my children in a godly way to be responsible members of the society which has not been easy especially with the decaying society that we live in presently so with research and learning in addition to experience, I realized that there was a need for the communication channel between my daughter and me to be constantly open.
During my growing up days, we didn’t have the opportunity of discussing everything with our parents we just take whatever information we are given without questioning authority and believing it hook line sinker. There was no opportunity to rub minds with them or discuss certain issues but as I began to study and do some research on parenting I realized that it is very important for children of this dispensation, that is the digital natives, to have responsive parents who are available to listen to them accept their point of views and advise them, not necessarily forcing them to do things but there are ways that you could convince or persuade them to do things the way you want them to.
I took it upon myself to make myself always available for her whenever she wanted to talk or ask any question because trust me any child that is not asking questions something is wrong somewhere. I remember the first day my daughter asked me what was ejaculation I was in shock. I didn’t get myself for a long time because the person asking me this question was just five years plus so how on Earth did she get to know about that word? Well, I had to brace myself and come up with a suitable explanation.
And with a little more probing I discovered that she had seen that word written on a sticker inside one of the buses that we boarded. You cannot imagine the relief I felt with the realization that she had not yet been exposed to anything contrary to what I had taught her. I later observed that she had been practicing how to spell and read so she was sounding, spelling, and reading every word she saw and that was how she picked up that word.
So I would like to say that this parenting journey is similar to marriage yes it has a beginning but doesn’t have an end because once you have a child, as long as your child is alive you remain a parent and you keep doing everything you can to ensure that your child has the best in life and that even when the child becomes an adult that everything works out fine for them. In the long run, when your child has a child you become a grandparent and of course, you cannot stop being a parent.
So you keep transferring the knowledge and experiences that you have gathered over the years while adding whatsoever new information you come across that will be beneficial to your children. Two remarkable things that have helped my parenting are my mum’s support and the training I received on Earlychild education.
Like I said at the beginning of this post, I am not a professional in this job. Permit me to say that I am still a rookie and we keep learning every day how to be better parents to our kids and all the children around us, in our environment, and the society at large. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
This post was written by Onyinye Udeh AKA Tory Teller a writer, blogger, educationist and mompreneur. She believes in family values and is very intentional about raising sound and godly children. Find more of her writing about her life experiences with a dash of humor on her blog.
I like to think I had the best childhood, mainly because of the gift of community. Ours was a time when you would break the rules at the neighbours and get disciplined by the neighbours, try that now and you get sued or thrown in jail. We were each other’s keeper.
Another thing that made my childhood great was the outdoor activities. We did not have video games, those were luxuries, and Tv programs were scheduled. Kids shows would show for like 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the evening (we didn’t have cable TV back then). So the rest of the time we would be busy fabricating stuff and games to play. One time we tried to build a swimming pool and that did not end well. We also impersonated people a lot. I was that chick in Micheal Jackson’s song thriller that was running away from the zombies. I was also Stone Cold Steve Austin of WWE who we used to call Steve or Stain. I just googled and found out it he is Austin, and Kimberly from power Rangers. The list is endless. I believed I could be anything. And then I became an adult.
Anyway, I am here today to talk about my experience being a parent in this new age where kids are like mini gods that we can’t touch. The neighbours’ mind their own business and Google is our manual.
Tikia Grace and her little girl
When I gelled into the idea of becoming a mum, I imagined how I was going to raise an outstanding citizen of the state, I don’t know where that came from. The truth is, in this cold world, I was just hoping I could give the world a kind humble spirit that would leave a mark of love everywhere she goes. That is all. I pray every day that as I try to groom her into that, she also learns how to draw the line and not get used by people because love is a command but association is not.
One of the things I thought and know is important is the name. My child is a girl. Her names mean; saint, strength, determination, blessing, grace and friend of God. It is amazing how every day I see her becoming Eren Millie Jane Reuel Arereng. There is power in names. Names are like the first step into identity, purpose and destiny.
I also know that there is power in declaring a thing. So while I was pregnant I spoke peace, joy and love into her. I read the book ‘Power of a Praying Parent’ by Stormie Omartian and that helped me by pointing out what I needed to touch on. I still speak life into her because I know and have experienced the power of words.
I was brought up by a community and because of that, even though times have changed, I have tried to tame myself to allow correction and discipline from those that are around her. Even when I feel sad or feel the need to protect her from any pain.I hold back and only intervene when i think it has turned into violence.
I am still working and figuring out what the boundaries are. She is still young, 1year and 5 months as of 4th May 2021. So this is something I am training my mind to accommodate.
One of the crazy things I have done as a parent was making her listen to classical music when she was about 3 months old. Research shows that it will make her intelligent and other things that I don’t remember. I am yet to see the results. We did that for 3 months then she started arguing and so we switched to Phonics and Baby shark. I also massaged her body in an act to shape it although this was me strongly projecting my insecurities on my baby, poor child.
I read somewhere when I was about 18 that watching TV has a way of making your mind have negative thoughts. It was some research done by someone I don’t remember but it was in the newspaper and I have never forgotten that. For that reason I have kept my child away from the Tv. We don’t own a TV at the moment and have been negligent about getting a new one because of the baby. I also limit her with my phone. She actually doesn’t pay attention to it when I do let her play with it.
She has enjoyed playing in the dirt to my dismay because it equates to extra-tough laundry to do but I want her to just be and explore. It’s hard to not be a controlling parent. I feel our generation is trying so hard to not be our broken parents. We end up over doing it because now we have mini gods all over the place. This parenting thing has no manual. You do what you can and hand it over the rest to God.
My fondest memory so far is when she was turning one, I wanted so badly to throw her party, but I could not afford it. I was sad the entire birth anniversary week then a day to her birthday when I came home from work, she was so excited to see me. Her smile healed me. In that moment I realised I am doing my best and I’ve never been the same. As a parent on parenting the hack is be present, it’s all in the moments.
This post was written by Tikia Grace, a mother who is single and very passionate about Jesus. She recently realised she could tell a story and haven’t stopped since. You can read more of her work on her blog where she keep discovering new things about her self as she writes and shares her story.
It’s been a few weeks since we concluded the ten-episode series on “I’m an African but…” blog chain initiated by Valentine Makoni and Bolaji Gelax where we had ten young Africans from at least six different countries (Zimbabwe, Nigeria, Swaziland, Uganda, Lesotho and Kenya) share with us, areas in which they’re not conformed to stereotypes.
These persons bravely discussed things that are generally expected of us as Africans but they, for one reason or the other, do not agree with or can’t keep up with. We bet you found at least one that resonated with you.
That said, we’d like to specially thank everyone who came on this journey with us; your openness and engagement reemphasized the need to have these conversations. Now, it’s time to meet the AMAZING minds behind each episode.
Sifiso Dlamini I’m not an avid reader but I try. Like for instance, I attempted to read Gravity’s Rainbow and it would be good to let you know that I failed dismally. I’m trying again, soon. Other than attempts at reading, I’m curious about tech, travel destinations and recently, writing.
My outlook to life is influenced by bits and pieces of post modernity and meta-modernism. So basically I’m a high-flying kite that wants to experience the many winds but remaining pegged in the unchanging Rock of Ages.
I am conscious of the many injustices that our African society faces. As an Urban and Regional Planner, I fall forward in trying to resolve complex environmental, economic and social issues that hold back our peoples.
Rogers M. Wanambwa is a 25-year-old, who is passionate about reading and writing. His ultimate goal is to change the narrative about Africa by having Africans tell their own story(s).
My name is Valentine Writes and I am a cultural curator. I find immense pleasure in finding, nurturing, distributing and promoting expression with soul. There is a human story to be found in poetry, music, tweets, status updates. short stories, books, photographs…. and I am drawn to the ingenious ways people find in telling them.
I am an African but… series has been one of the most fulfilling endeavors to elicit authentic tales, perspectives and insights from all who call Africa home.
Bolaji Gelax AKA Miss Flowery, is a Nigerian actor, blogger, writer, spaghetti-lover and media personality. She believes in the mantra, “Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well”, which means one should always give their best to everything.
When she is not playing devil’s advocate or pissing the heck out of people, you’d most likely find her listening to the radio, binging on blogs, eating and having fun. But in the midst of all these, she is always pursuing my dreams. One of her favourite quotes is,
“If you know where you are going, then you’ld know what you should be doing” – Bolagi Gelax
Connie Ahebwa usually referred to as Connie Dia is a Lover of books , Ardent reader, Blogger and writes on Lifestyle, Health and tackling the hard questions of life.
Bildad Makori is a writer and blogger who hails from Nairobi, Kenya. He is a Journalism and Mass Communication student at Chuka University.
He serves as the Deputy Chairperson of Writers Guild Chuka, and is an editor and reviewer at Writers Space Africa.
In his blog, he focuses on writing about social and gender issues as he seeks to voice his opinions that there may be change for the society to be better than it is.
Poloko Mokoai, born and raised in a small Southern African country landlocked by South Africa known as Lesotho. From a young age, she always preferred journals over dolls so she could create various worlds different from the one she lived in hence her decision to start blogging so she could share some African fictional stories. It is an honor to have joined the “I’m African..But” blog chain which she came across on Bolaji Gelax’s page.
Anesu Nyakubaya-Nhevera is a Zimbabwean born writer, blogger and poet. Her work has been featured in Zimbolicious Anthologies 3 and 4 as well as several websites. When she is not writing for her blog HERE, she enjoys reading, experimenting in the kitchen and spending time with her family. She is also very passionate about equality in all its forms.
Gail is a dread head feminist who loves cats and hates the idea of societal pressures. She thinks Donald Trump wasn’t all that terrible too. Amala belongs in the swampy waters of Makoko.
Last week while scrolling on my twitter TL I came across a book giveaway and me being me I entered.
February is the month of love. In honor of love. I will be giving out a copy of my book to one reader. All you have to do is comment with a red heart ❤️ on this post! Thank you 💚
Guess what!? I won! The book arrived on Tuesday and imagine my surprise when I opened it found it was signed! Nothing feels better than the smell of a new book. It really made my day.
At first I really wasn’t sure about the book. I am not one for self care books. I am more in the fantasy spectrum of the book reading community. I get bored easily. I recently delved into the world of African fantasy and it seems to be monopolising my reading. I Before We was therefore a necessary breather.
The book has 10 chapters that are interlinked and aimed at making you take a step back and introspect. It makes you question why you are the way you are and what you are going to do about it. One of the things I loved most about it (I loved a lot of things about it) was that it was so relatable. It didn’t make me feel overwhelmed or out of touch with the concepts being put across.
In one of the chapters, Forgiveness, a Xhosa saying ‘umenzi uyalibala’ made me think of the Shona saying ‘chinokanganwa idemo’ which both essentially mean the doer forgets when they do something to the other but the receiver never does. It further elabolates on why forgiving by the receiver is important. I don’t want to spoil the read so let me stop here.
Things I loved about the book:
1. I loved that it was such a short read with only 73 pages. It didn’t overwhelm me or make me feel like I was about to dose off.
2. I loved the easy to understand simple language. I wasn’t intimidated by what I was reading so it made it easier for me to read and understand.
3. I loved that it forced me to introspect at the end of each chapter. The activities at the end of the chapters make you think even if you don’t want to. They also serve as mind cleansers for you to recentre before diving into the next chapter and all that it comes with.
4. I loved how she put her personal life experiences as examples for better understanding. It made me feel like I am getting advice from an older sister. Although at some points it did feel like I was reading someone’s diary which gives me the gibbers.
5. I love how she starts every chapter with a quote. They are so profound and some I hadn’t heard of until now.
This book really made me happy and I hope to read more books from the author.
I, Before We is a self help book written by Oluchi B. Kolanisi (author and business coach) that takes you through her life journey and what she learnt. It teaches you how to look at yourself in a holistic view to allow self growth.
I, Before We was published by KZN based self publishers Reach Publishers. It can be purchased on Takealot and Amazon.
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