Letters To Matipa: Gather A Tribe

Wadiwa Mati

We underestimate the power of a support structure. A really solid support structure. If there’s anything I have learned in the years that I have been on this earth, is that we, as humans, need to belong. We are social beings whether we like it or not which is why some people get some type of way when they have no community around them and why it’s easy to go down a rabbit hole when you have no people supporting us. In all the years that I have lived I have learned that we all need support in one form or another, even when we say we don’t, we do need it.

Understanding this about ourselves makes it easier for us to find the people that we need to find. That being said, find people who are equally invested you as you are in them, people who believe in the things that you believe in, people who understand what you stand for and support you as you do it. Find people who have time for you not people who will take from you, people who will mold you and those you would do the same for.

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I think we take something as simple as a how are you? for granted. Let it not always be about you when you are around your people. Be conscious of how you are with them because that will also inform how they respond to you. Do you have time to ask what is going on in the life of others? Do you have time to ask, how they are, where they are because you want them to do the same for you. If you want them to make time for you, you have to make time for them as well.

Another important thing, actually the most important thing when finding your tribe is to pray about it. Don’t just let random people into your space. Everything about life is spiritual, including the people around you.

I’m not saying people might be the devil but energies, people’s spirits can disturb your spirit and to safeguard yourself, my darling. Pray about it. Talk to God. Let Him lead you where He needs to lead you and also let Him show you who you need to let go of which leads me to my next point.

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Some people are not forever. Some people are for seasons, and that’s okay. And as much as we want a strong support system, we need to understand that not everyone is going be there for our whole life journey. A lot of them are going to come and go and when they do you need to make peace and understand that they were only meant to be there for a season and when that happens, be able to get up and carry on.

Finding our tribe can happen when we’re young, sometimes it happens when we’re older, but ultimately it happens when it needs to. And that’s still okay too. There’s no rush. Finding the right people is not easy. It’s a journey and when you let it play out, it’ll pay off in the way it’s supposed to.

Vanokuda Mai Mati

It’s All For Her!

My husband and I had a discussion a couple of days ago. It eluded to the question if you are not going to get any recognition for the work you do, if you are not financially compensated for the efforts you make and if you do not get satisfaction from this work (not that I don’t) then why do it at all?

For me this was an easy to answer question, but before I get to my response I will ask you this – why would YOU carry on?

Had I been posed with this question 3 years ago my answer would have been something like for the fun of it or for the experience. However, today is not three years ago and I am not the same person. I must say I was a bit taken aback by my response. It sounded so mature and profound I was shocked these words were coming out of my mouth. I did mean every bit of it though and I am sure most parents would agree.

Here’s why I would still do it, so my daughter knows it’s possible. I do it for my child.

If by starting a blog, creating a book or by writing I make it known to her that she can chase her dreams then it’s all worth. If by taking steps towards something while scared and filled with fear gives her courage to achieve whatever her heart desires then I have lived. If any work of my hands inspires her to leave her mark in this world then a job well done to me. No money will ever equate this satisfaction!

The Girl Who Knows About Cars: A Book Review

Child, as I pick up our read this month, I am thinking about you. This story embodies everything I wish for you. I wish you grow up into strong woman, one who goes against the grain and takes up space. One who is comfortable in her skin and is always curious to learn. One who goes for the all the things in the hard spaces.

Our read this month is The Girl Who Knows About Cars. This book tells us a story of a girl who was curious to learn about cars and helped her father one day when the car broke down. This book is suitable for readers from the age of 5/6 as children start to read alone.

Things I loved about this book:

1. The story is easy to follow. Younger children who are not able to read on their own can follow the story through the illustrations and understand it.
2. Illustrations are relatable and look a lot like the average African.
3. Illustrations are big.
4. The story is easy to read and does not overwhelm little readers especially if they are still beginning to read on their own.
5. It emphasizes that a girls can do anything, African girls can do anything!

BONUS: It has an activity that would be fun to do with your child!

The Girl Who Knows About Cars, originally published in 1996 is a book by Amu Djoleto a Ghanian writer and educator. He has written five other children’s’ books,  one poetry book, three novels and four practice books.

We’re One!

I decided to take a break in July and clear my head space for the second half of the year so this blog post is a little late but better late than never, right. In the spirit of clearing out the draft folder, *wink, Afrobloggers community*, here is my anniversary post, even though a month late. 

Just over a month ago this blog turned one. We have been through quite a bit, this blog and I. 

It started out as Kintsugi. A place of healing, community and self-discovery for myself and my readers. Over the past couple of months, the blog’s aim has evolved. In addition to all these things, I want this blog to be my legacy. A love letter to my daughter, a place she can find bits of her mother long after I am gone, because of this I decided to rebrand the blog.

Introducing Amari!

Amari is a baby girl name, with Yoruba origins, meaning strength. In case you were wondering, why Amari? Well, I loved that it means strength something I am trying to achieve for myself and my readers through healing, a sense of community and understanding of self. I also loved that it is a baby girl’s name because it aligns with the new direction we are taking – a non-traditional parenting blog.

I went with the colour green for this new phase because green represents healing, growth, strength and unconditional love. Things that this blog is an embodiment of.

In celebration of Amari’s first anniversary, my chapbook will be available for free download for 24hours from 0900hrs CAT on August 4, 2021.

Here’s to more years of blogging, growth and legacies and we delve into this new chapter. 

Happy 1st anniversary Amari!

On Parenting : Sue’s Take

In celebration of Mother’s day and the month that bears it, I have decided to have 3 weeks (might be more, if you are parent and want to share your story get, in touch) dedicated to parents and their parenthood journeys.

I will kickstart the series ‘On Parenting’ with my take on the motherhood journey.

My Nunu and I

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It started with the bile

The sickness

The tiredness

The dread

Punctuated by occasional flutters

That could easily be mistaken for butterflies

I was falling in love

In the midst of misery

Of tears

Of uncertainty

Of fear

Punctuated by the occasional glimmer of hope

One day it would all be over

I would hold you and you would be mine

Then you came

And you were mine

Tiny hands cupping my face

Tiny cute smiles melting my heart

Naughtiness on end

I wouldn’t have any other way