Let’s Dust Off Those Cob Webs

Oh my word, it has been a LOOOOOONG while!

Consider this my official notification, I’m coming back to blogging.

It’s been a minute!

I have been trying to write a post since January lol. It is what it is.

I’m a quarter to a birthday, have tons of plans and ideas that I feel never get done.

I don’t know how this year will go or how this new chapter has instore but it’s in God’s hands. He knows what’s best!

Twenty – Twenty Thrive!

Hey, hey!

It’s been a while so yes, I am trying to dust off the cobwebs in the corners of this under utilised space I call mine on the internet.

The last quarter on my year was HECTIC! Actually, hectic might be an understatement, it was a WHIRLWIND.

I haven’t been on here consistently since June when we had the Afrobloggers Winter ABC and I think for me it was time to take a bit of a step back. I felt as if I was stuck in the motions of life and to be honest was just existing. It was because of this that I just didn’t have the creative juice to write. Every time I tried to nothing came. I had a block, a huge mental block. As things turned out, I stopped writing.

I missed this space. As a creator, I kept feeling something was missing. I felt bad everytime I glanced at my WordPress app. I even opened it a few times but I guess the time just wasn’t right yet. Until today.

Before we get lost down that drab rabbit hole let’s move on to all the stuff I have been up to since June when you last heard from me:

1. The blog turned 2! – Yes we made it, even though I have been slacking we still made it to 2

2. I took a basic Capacity Building and Industrial Skills course – this is a post for a whole other day but has really impacted my life in ways I can even begin to explain. Also made friends, met awesome people and got great experiences plus opportunities.

3. My baby turned 3! – they always say how kids grow so fast and I have personally witnessed it. I can never get over how small she was and how big she has grown so far. I will probably still be saying this 20 years from now but it is what it is.

4. My wedding anniversary – again time flies super fast, I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already. Yes I know it might a small number to some but for me every year is a brick added to this “marriage institution” and I worth celebration.

5. I had a part time seasonal job – this place was hard work but made me realise how much I missed waking up early for work and just interacting with people I would otherwise would have never met. I can get over how everyone there thought I was younger than I actually am. I think they were just being nice. That’s the only they comments make sense lol.

6. I became co-host of Becomming A Mommy podcast that we do together with Louisa – this is one of my me time spaces where I just get to chill and speak to another mom who can related and let my hair down. I still don’t like being on camera but I now know I can do it!

My festive season was just as hectic with no breaks at all but if 2022 taught me anything, it’s that I am capable and I can make things happen. The year was setting me up to thrive in 2023!

I am definitely looking forward to it.

African Voices Matter In Children’s Literature

My Nunu is growing up fast and the older she gets the more I realise how Black and Brown children are unrepresented in literature, it’s shocking. If anything I hope this blog post encourages more authors to include BIPOC characters in literature (especially children’s literature) and write in our mother languages.

According to a 2018 study in the US, only 23% of all children’s books depicted characters from diverse backgrounds (10% were African/ African-American 318 books, 7% were Asian Pacific Islander/ Asian Pacific American 218 books, 5% were Latinix 170 books and 1% were American Indians/ First Nations 23 books) compared to the 50% that depicted white children and 27% that depicted animals.

This means my daughter (and others like her) do not see themselves in literature which impacts their view on beauty, self worth and other perceptual views they may have of themselves. To change the notions of “white” being better and “colour” being inferior we need to change perceptions. This starts at with what we consume from a young age especially in the media. This is why we need more more inclusivity.

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According to the Publishers Association of South Africa (PASA), 65% of children’s books published between 2000 and 2015 were produced in English and Afrikaans, and just 7% in South Africa’s most widely spoken language, isiZulu. This is ridiculous in a country that has 11 official languages.

This is more than true for other African countries as well. Less and less of our languages are being recorded in literature which in part is perpetuating the extinction of African languages. We to keep our stories, folklores, cultures and traditions alive. The only vehicle we have to do this with is language. We need to keep these languages going for us to preserve who we are as people. This is why we need more representation.

Photo by Skylar Kang on Pexels.com

Let me quote Pastor J Maponga who said ‘If we strive to become like the white man, we deny the white man an opportunity to experience the black man’. Our languages are who we are, by producing literature that shows characters that look like us and literature that is written in our languages we give other the opportunity to indulge in our ways, to learn and understand who we are and where we come from. By so doing we create empathy for all. This is why we need more diversity.

We’re Potty Trained (well almost), Here’s What I Learnt!

So I think out of all the things I have to do as mother, this is the one thing I dreaded the most.

I had been contemplating potty training my daughter for a long while because well, diapers are expensive and to be honest I was kinda getting tired of changing them but the thought of it scared the ish out of me. Like really scared me, so I did all I could to cope. I googled potty training, watched videos and made my Nunu watch them too. I asked moms around me (my mom, sisters and friends) and they all said to go for it especially if I think my child is ready, thing is I was the unprepared one.

A couple of weeks later I finally did it and these are the things I learnt:

1. Children are different – one thing I learnt early on in my parenting journey was that my child hits her milestones a little later than some children (e.g my niece who is 4 months younger than her). I kind of lost this revelation when I started potty training because I wanted it over and done with as soon as possible. Watching “How to potty train your child in 3 days” videos also did not help. Especially because most of the children trained in 3 days were a bit older than my child.
2. Patience pays – so it took about a week and tons of “accidents” before we had a successful trip to the potty. It might take you less time or maybe even more but it will eventually pay off.
3. Stay calm – It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the number of “accidents” and how often they occur especially in the early days of potty training but hey, it does get better so stay at it and it is definitely not easy for a first time mom. You might feel the urge to shout at your child but this might actually make the regress and become scared of the potty (we do not want this).
4. One step at a time – so children are different but for my Nunu and I, we focused on mastering the number one in the potty before we focused on the number 2. It really helped on easing the pressure on both of us. It was also kind of something I didn’t plan to do. She used to hide when she did it so I kind of didn’t have an option but to do it according to her readiness.
5. Goodies are your superpower – One of my friends told me she wished she had given her child one treat for both the number 1 and number 2 because her child only did whatever got her the goody she preferred. I immediately knew this is what I wanted to do and it worked. We would celebrate every successful potty trip with a dance, a song and a goody. IT REALLY WORKS!

We still have “accidents” every so often and have not yet fully night trained but honestly I am happy with were we are and proud of what we have achieved so far.

How has your experience been?

Good Bye 2021

As I say goodbye to the year past, I choose to count my blessings. I chose to focus on all the good! Like the job I just applied for even though I didn’t qualify and got! Like that certificate I started 2 years ago but finally put myself to finishing and did! Like realising that I actually know some stuff even though imposter syndrome gets the best of me at times. Like my daughter turning two (I thank God! I didn’t think myself much of a mom and always fear she might die from being a daughter to a mother who has no idea what she is doing but she hasn’t yet so we celebrate).

I count my blessings as I thank the Lord for seeing me through every difficult situation I went through this year. For strengthening my marriage and seeing us through tough times. For allowing me to grieve and recover and come back to my own. For growth and maturity through every season. For my husband and his show of strength and resilience when the time came.

I celebrate with those around me who had wins, my mum for completing a gender studies degree at 61. My older sister for completing her teaching qualification. My eldest sister for finishing her degree even though she works full time and is a single mom to two. With my friends as they built and grew.

This blog post has been one I have been contemplating on writing for a while. I have been toying with the idea, to write or not to write. You are reading this so evidently decided on writing it but it was not an easy write. It may not be much however the vulnerability that it required of me is one I have not experienced EVER. It needed me to relive and bare myself. As made the decision to write this blog post I decided to see it as the last chapter to a book I am closing. To leave every negative thing this year has brought with 2021 and close it as I move into 2022.

Goodbye 2021.