Which family is my family?

Just A Rant!

A while ago a conversation was sparked around Black Tax and it got me thinking. When family comes calling who is your first obligation?

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. -Gen 2:24. KJV

I like to use this verse as reference because it clearly states what I sometimes fail to. When you come together as husband and wife and decide to start a family, for me, that family takes precedence. That family is your first obligation. I am quite sure as Africans we have witnessed a parent, relative or someone we know who has broken their back in the name of appreciating the family they came from AKA Black Tax.

So many households deprive their needs for the sake of others. I know as a society we are deprived but do we really need to take whatever shortfalls we have and unload them all on someone else? Thing that gets to me is this tax usually falls on one person in the family. Don’t they have their own baggage? Do you even care when you do that?

For some, affording the bare minimum turns them into targets and when you say you can not everyone will know how you are stingy and how you will not help in the “upkeep” of the family you left BUT what of your family? Spouse? Kids? Don’t they deserve a shot at a better life? A comfortable one?

I am all for compassion and helping and caring but I say (together with the ladies present for this convo) SET BOUNDARIES! If it’s not in your budget, say no! If it’s not an emergency, say no! If it’s not necessary, say no! Why? Because the family you create comes first. Help if and when you can but don’t break your back bending over (for people who most probably won’t even help you when YOU need it).

Ps. Let me know in the comments your encounter with black tax.


7 thoughts on “Which family is my family?

  1. Saying ‘No’ is a skill that requires courage and practice but we must learn to use it once boundaries have been drawn.
    Thanks for this.

    Liked by 1 person

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